Reverse discrimination

There is not a more sure sign of a woman with Golden Uterus Syndrome than a mother who is willing to exploit her own child in order to serve her own needs. 

Before I go into specifics, I would like to add a disclaimer.  I am a feminist with a college degree in both Psychology and Women’s Studies.  A more “pro woman” you will never meet.  It was with great disappointment and upset that I realized that the family court system was more interested in protecting a mother’s rights than a child’s best interests.  It is a good cause gone awry.

My husband is a fine, law abiding, child support paying, parenting time eager, man.   If you listened only to his ex wife, you would think that he is a lousy, drunken, irresponsible, unreliable man.  Who is one to believe?

Our culture has become so “mother friendly” so as to exclude the very important role of the father.  Statistics bear out that a child without an involved father are more at risk for all the things we wish against for our children….truancy, drug use, teen pregnancy, etc.

Yet we find it so easy to believe a mother when she rallies against a father post-divorce.   

I have sadly found women who are more than willing to eliminate the father from their child’s life should he dare to do things such as disagree with her, remarry, or stick to a court ordered parenting time plan.

I recently had lunch with a divorced mother of a 12 year old son who told me that her son sees his Dad once a week and that is “plenty” as she has to “maintain control.”

She went on to describe an entirely inappropriate realtionship with her son where they are mutually naked in the bathroom in spite of his delicate age. 

Truth be told….some mothers are not healthy for thier very own children.  They lack the ability to uphold and teach healthy relationships and boundaries.  They would sooner feed their children to the dogs than admit that the father has an important role.

And the family court system, more often than not, supports this kind of delusional thinking.   

Warning Signs for Women

If you are dating a man with children from a previous marriage or relationship, you should know the warning signs of a mother with Golden Uterus Syndrome.  If you get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomache every time you see her or she calls your mate, then you are probably wondering what you’ve gotten yourself into.  The following checklist will help you realize if you are the sane one and it is everyone else who is crazy. 

 1) She either refuses to meet you or demands to meet you on her terms and on her timing.

2) She calls your significant other numerous times a day or week and expects that he will make her call his top priority as he did when they were married. 3) She uses drop off and pick up of the child to create an audience with your significant other and is upset if you are present.

4) She expects that they will attend certain functions or celebrate certain occassions “as a family” to your exclusion.

5) She believes that if she needs money above and beyond what is court ordered, it is your significant other’s obligation to provide it.

6) She demands information about you and your  relationship  (status, his intentions) veiled as concern for the children.

7) She attempts to reconcile with your significant other after it is clear to everyone that you and he have a serious relationship.

8) She is volitile and emotionally blackmailing one minute, sweet and nicey nice the next minute, with no acknowledgement of the dark side.

9) She is incapable of apologizing to anyone, ever. It is always someone else’s fault and she is the victim/martyr.

10) She calls you names or attributes negative characteristics to you in conversation with your significant other. Often accompanied by pretending to be nice to you in person.

If you experience at least six of the above-listed warning signs, my advice is to find a man with an ex who isn’t crazy.  Your life will be easier and more enjoyable as a result.

“Mommy Loves You!”

How often, when you really sit down and think about it, have you heard this phrase said to someone in public? It seems to me that this is something normally said in private, for fear of recipient of said statement die of embarrassment. Something uttered at bedtime, when someone is sick, whatever.

Not usually said, oh, I don’t know, while dropping your 12 year old son off at god damn Boy Scouts meeting for an hour. It just feels like a certain “ick” factor is reached when I see this. It smacks as being more for show, than love.

I have seen hundreds of parents dropping off hundreds of children at different events over the years. The large majority of said parents are usually rushed, trying to eat a cold burrito while wrestling younger siblings back into car seats and ignoring a ringing phone lost on the floor of their mini van somewhere.  From my vantage point, the child in question hops out of the vehicle, darts off while the parent in question yells at them about not forgetting something followed up with “I will pick you up in hour! Bye!”.  Then you see a pronounced sigh of relief as they drive off.

Not the Golden Uterus though. Nope. See, the Golden Uterus loves her children more than the average parent. This love for their child usually becomes painfully noticeable when they are single. If the father of said child happens to be the leader/coach/volunteer at said event the devotion show plunges into the cartoonistic.

So next time you get a chance, hang out for a few minutes. Watch the parents interact with their children while dropping them off. If you see a mother who very reluctantly “gives up their baby” for an hour with the accompanied sigh and yelling of “Mommy Loves You!!” as the precious 12 yr old fruit of her loins sprints across the gymnasium, you might be witnessing a Golden Uterus in her natural environment.

Oh, but a word of caution. Don’t get too close. This type of mother will often corner you, trying to make very loud, very saccharine, very insane small talk. This has nothing however, to do with you, and everything to do with showing the leader/coach/volunteer father that the Golden Uterus is a popular and important person. It also may just leave you feeling like you need to shower, again.

Quote for the Day.

History is a better guide than good intentions.- Jeannne J. Kirpatrick, *U.N. Ambassador

*Real U.N. Ambassador. Not the “Angelina Jolie” school of UN Ambassador.

It’s a shame she’s crazy.

Tired of those long diatribe emails? Sick of the 27 phone calls a day about nothing? Feel like you are being perpetually punnished via text message?

So are we!! We united under the banner of “The Golden Uterus is a MYTH”. It doesn’t actually exist. Just because she gave birth, does not mean that she is the driving force, the deciding factor, for everything. The four of us are going to share with you, dear reader, our own Golden Uterus stories. We are here to laugh together, disect together, mock together, and share with the world the craziness that is the birth mother.

 This blog is not about divorced fathers, it’s not about evil stepmothers, interfering inlaws or nosy neighbors. It’s about “her”.

 It is, however, for us and for you. It’s a place to purge your frustration. A place to take your ex-wife, your husband’s ex, your mother-in-law, hell your own mother, and hold her up to the candle to see if in fact your suspicions are correct; she IS crazy!