Mother vs Golden Uterus.

Make no mistake. We here at GU love mothers. Hell, we all have one. We understand that they are good and kind, and strong, and smart, and have what is very often a thankless job. They shape our future. This in no way excludes fathers. We like them too. Keep the hate mail about that to a minimum, m’kay?

There is a huge gulf of a difference between the mother and the GU. While it’s true that both are women (even if sometimes we mean that only in the strictest of genetic terms) and it’s true that they both have children, that is sadly where the similarities end. So with that in mind, we are going to outline for you, dear reader, the difference between the mother, and the golden uterus.

And in the Mother column:

Mothers are giving.

Mothers will say no to their children.

Mothers understand that children should not be burdened with adult situations. Mothers understand that a child’s brain is not physically developed enough to understand the ramifications of their decisions so they do not allow children to make serious, life altering, harmful, decisions.

Mothers teach their children how to survive in the real world.

Mothers understand that their principal job in parenting is to raise, happy, mature, adults in the hopes of leaving the world just a little bit better.

 While a mother feels like her child is her heart, walking around, she logically understands that her child is his or her own person and does not impose her own emotions onto her child.

Now in the blue corner, the golden uterus:

The GU doesn’t quite understand that she can feel one way, and her child another. To her, when she is sad, the child is sad. There is no difference.

The GU simply cannot see those things that she deems “unpleasant”. They just don’t exist.

GUs believe that what is best for her is what is best for everyone. Anything beyond that is foolish.

 To the GU disobedience is abuse. A child who disobeys her, must hate her.

 A fathers most important role is that of an assistant to the mother. There is no other purpose.

 Stepmothers may or may not provide childcare, and/or driving arrangements. These things may only be done with the understanding that it is to be treated as a case by case basis only. The GU must agree with each day separately because yesterday just didn’t happen. Further to this, childcare and driving must be done by an invisible stepmother. One who also cannot punish, take pride in, dislike or love said child.

A Golden Uterus believes that her emotions are reason enough for action, there need be no other justification than that.


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